i'm blogging like, after a week? exam week la.

didn't run or swim for like more than 2 weeks because of exams. and i couldn't live another day not running and swimming. so, after my ps paper, i did 30laps in abt 45mins, and 2.4km in 12:22 (thanks to gm korkor who insist that i should mention him since he helped me in 12:22 and will help me break 12min).

not very impressive, but this is the result of not training for 2 weeks or more. and not to forget, sleeping at 4am and waking up at 8am to mug. i don't live mugging. i live running.

i'm not done with my exams yet. down to the last one on monday. Psychology. yay. and very looking forward to rochor tau huey on monday, as promised by boon chin. *grins*

papers so far, are like don't know what to say. just hope to get a decent cap. might have to kiss goodbye to 3.5 which also meant a treat from gm korkor. hurhur.
but all's not LOST yet.

qianyi's principle : confessing = YOU LOST A BATTLE.

Hence, you never hear me walk out of exam hall saying, " shit, i'm so going to fail."
or things like "I will fail for this paper" before entering the exam hall.

I don't like to confess my fear. Even if i know i won't do well or whatever, i will just keep quiet and forget about it. And keep those nasty little negative thoughts out of my mind. like, GET OUT.

So, no comments for the papers.

Regatta Day 1. TODAY.

had macs breakfast, which i could not finish. think during exam period, my stomach shrank or something. I will learn how to finish my food soon.

First event for me was women open heat.
I was in NUS TEAM A for that set. and suddenly, i felt rather pressured. Like seriously, in terms of rowing, i don't really trust myself as much. I never thought of myself as a good and up-to-standard rower after Tianjin.

like, if i were put in to row a set. i will be like, maybe there's not enough rower or the better ones are tired. Up till now, i still think of it that way.

I'm never like tt la. In other aspects, i'm a confident person. Running, swimming, any sports, i always know i'm good at it. but for rowing, its different. WHY huh.

I know i must think that i'm good and know i'm good. but i still can't find that little ego in me to say i'm a good rower because i just don't know why.

I will give all my 100% and execute my strokes but i always think that i'm still not good enough. WHY huh.

then, i was put into the IVP boat. amanda and i were the only pair of juniors rowing.
1 word, STRESS.

like, i don't know why am i put into that boat. I know i will give my best, pull long, recover fast and stuffs. but... WHY huh.

am i good or am i not?

i think one of the few reason is because you cannot access your rows unlike your runs and swims. when you run or swim, your timing tells you that you are good.

i need that confidence in rowing too.

maybe i should start thinking myself as a good rower, then i will be good. like, ha ha. *rolls eyes*

Regatta Day 2. Tomorrow.

self GOAL : TRUST YOURSELF AND KNOW YOU ARE GOOD.
team GOAL : ROW TOGETHER, WIN TOGETHER. let the rest kiss our ass.

NUS, AI ZAI.

*off to mug*